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Start BASIC and Avoid 'The Gash'

By Joe Bingham
Posted Tuesday, November 16, 2004

People have a funny thing about them. We all want everything NOW! We start on a diet, and a day and a half later we're hopping on the scales to see if we've lost anything. We get a new credit card and in one weekend we've got over a $1000 racked up on it. Then we gripe for the next 3 years until it's paid off.

We also join affiliate programs at two in the morning and expect to have built a sizeable residual income by the next afternoon. Unfortunately, things don't work that way.

When I was about 8 years old, my parents signed me up for swimming lessons, and I remember well the first day of that class. That was the day I met, 'The Gash'.

As I stood in the shallow end of the pool with about 6 other kids in my group, our instructor was showing us how to hold our breath and go under water. With me never having been in a swimming pool much before, however, I wasn't too keen on the idea. In fact, I was resisting adamantly.

The instructor patiently tried to help me go under, for a while, and then apparently he'd had enough. Especially since I was encouraging another kid to rebel as well.

That's when 'The Gash' was brought in. He would MAKE us go under water we were told.

As I and my group stood in the pool, suddenly a man appeared at the edge of the pool behind us and glared down from high above. He was tall, dark, and missing a HUGE chunk of flesh on the front of his left leg. To a bunch of 8 year old kids, he was a formidable sight. The fear I felt in his presence manifested itself in the form of rippling waves spreading out from my trembling body.

We all speculated as to what had torn a hole in 'The Gash's' leg as he and our instructor stood talking together. Since he was a swimming instructor, naturally the speculation centered around water.

"I think he was bit by a shark!" one boy suggested.

"Or a sea snake!" offered another, "Or a sea monster like the one in Loch Ness!"

"That's not it," another boy broke in. "I know what happened cause my dad was there. He jumped off the BIG high dive at the downtown pool and missed! His leg hit the side of the pool on the way down and tore a hole in his leg! My dad said there was blood everywhere! People thought he was dead!"

The speculation ended suddenly, however, as 'The Gash' turned and spoke to us.

"Everyone is going under water today," Then turning back to our instructor he said, "Let's take them to the deep end."

I followed silently in fear as we were all marched to the other end of the pool and lined up at the side of the diving board. One by one, kids from my group were herded to the edge of the pool by one adult and then 'helped' to jump off the edge into the arms another. The kids were being allowed to land fully in the water, but then helped to stay afloat and swam over back to the side of the pool.

'The Gash' stood menacingly by watching over the entire event. That is until it was my turn. As I reluctantly made my way to the end of the cement, I noticed 'The Gash' slip silently into the pool below me.

"I'll catch this one," he said coldly to the other adult. I looked over in fear at the other kids who had gone before me. The look of horror I had on my face was mirrored back to me in their eyes as each thought to themselves how happy they were that it wasn't them up there.

Realizing my fate was sealed, I prepared to jump. However, in that final moment, I had a brilliant idea come to mind. I jumped with all my might and dove directly in front of the other man who had caught all the others and was still in the water next to 'The Gash'.

Sensing my ploy, however, 'The Gash' moved to the side and reached out for me in mid-air. For a moment, I thought it was all over. Surely this would be the end, but then caught me. He actually caught me. For a moment, I thought maybe 'The Gash' wasn't all bad. Maybe he didn't really have it in for me. Perhaps he just wanted me to realize that I could jump into the water and nothing would happen to me.

Suddenly, however, I was dunked underwater. My eyes burned and my heart raced as I saw bubbles flowing in the water all around me. Then, in that terrible moment, there it was.

Kicking back and forth in front of me was the hideous scar on 'The Gash's' leg. My mind blurred as thoughts ran through it. Is this why he was holding me under for so long? Was I to be the next to have a piece of my body violently removed? Was I to become one and the same as 'The Gash'? Had he chosen me as some sort of sacrifice to appease that which had previously taken a chunk out of him?! In a panic, I searched frantically around me for sharks, sea snakes, and monsters.

Was this it? Was this the end? What horror that moment held!

Then, all at once, I was whisked up out of the water and plopped on the side of the pool along with the other kids. 'The Gash' then looked directly at me and spoke.

"I told you everyone was going under today," he laughed maniacally and turned away.

I've never seen 'The Gash' since, nor have I ever learned to swim.

Why? Because I was pushed too fast into swimming and the whole thing became a bad experience for me causing my subconscious mind to make me lose all interest in getting down in the water.

As we start into an online business, we expect to be where we want in an instant because that's what we've been told the Internet can provide. However, as with anything, it takes time, experience, and work to accomplish.

If you jump off the high dive too soon, I guarantee 'The Gash' will be waiting for you in the water to pull you under.

You can succeed on the Internet. There is money to be made. However, you must start BASIC and WORK your way up. Learn first. Develop the resources, tools, and systems you need. Take your time and set realistic goals based off a business plan.

Then, when you do meet up with 'The Gash', you can swim circles around him, perform an underwater ballet show where you pull down his swim trunks, tie them in a knot, and load them with snapping turtles.

Hey, that would make my day anyway.

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About the Author
Written by Joe Bingham of the NetPlay Newsletter Joe is a widely published and acclaimed Internet marketing author. His business includes doing promotional article writing for Internet businesses and the NetPlay Newsletter ezine. NetPlay is: *Unique *Informative *Better What are you missing at NetPlay today? Visit Now! (


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