Posted Wednesday, February 9, 2005
Cattiness is something no one ever wants to be accused of doing. But the reality is, at one time or another you’ve probably engaged in it, and most likely, you’ll do it again. This trait can include any number of unfortunate behaviors from not saying what we really intend to say, to saying things in a harsh tone of voice. It also includes gossiping, cynical remarks, and on a grander scale, outright rudeness. Cattiness can stand in the way of marketing your business since what you say and how you say it is critical in building rapport with potential clients and customers. Think about how you come across to the people you interact with on a daily basis. Check in with your attitude and behavior to make sure you are coming from your best place at all times.
1. Always tell the truth. Your word is one of the strongest tools for building outstanding relationships with your clients and customers. It starts from the first moment that you decide to open your business and it carries forward throughout the years. Telling the truth not only about who you are, but also about your products and services, is essential to building a strong foundation for a successful business. It is through honesty that you build confidence and trust in the hearts and minds of those who do business with you. These are the qualities that help to maintain your current clients and which lead them to make referrals to you. It takes only a moment of dishonesty to destroy your reputation and credibility. Rise above the crowd – tell the truth, always, and you’ll have your customers telling everyone about you!
2. Come from a place of integrity. One of the best ways to rise above catty behavior is to make integrity your central “come from” place when you deal with others. Integrity is about core honesty. When you come from a place of being fully integrated in your thoughts and actions, you are operating from a place of integrity. This gives others a sense of confidence in you – that you are predictable and consistent. After all, people like to do business with those who they know, like, and trust. By coming from a place of integrity you’ll be just that person.
3. Have empathy for others. Individuals who have empathy don’t have a place in their hearts to be mean-spirited towards others. They understand that life holds challenges enough for all and that they have no right to add to another person’s burden. To have empathy for others, we must have it for ourselves. For those who have not learned that important life lesson, they can only give away what they have inside of themselves. For those who have empathy, there is no place for catty behavior to enter the picture. They interact with others only from a place of love and understanding.
4. Let go of the need for power. Catty behavior typically manifests when someone needs to come from a place of power. In order to feel complete, a catty person must make others feel incomplete. Rather than coming from a place of competition with others, try coming from a place of cooperation. Appreciate the gifts and talents that others have to offer. Recognize that there is plenty for all and that there is no winner or loser. Instead, everyone can be a winner. One is powerful because it is a chosen state of mind, not something gained at the expense of others.
5. Let go of the need for control. Some people engage in catty behavior when they possess a strong need for control, a behavior deeply rooted in fear. Closely aligned with the need for power, these folks want to manipulate the thoughts and actions of others for their personal gain. And, this is done by saying and doing things to intimidate or coerce. Letting go of the need for control will actually allow you to enjoy life by decreasing stress levels. The reality is that nothing can be controlled in life except for one’s response to it.
6. Stop gossiping. “Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.” (Unknown) Gossiping is one of the most catty of behaviors. Not only is it destructive to others but it is also a complete waste of one’s own lifetime. You might think you’re not gossiping because you only say great things about others. The truth is that anytime you are discussing someone other than yourself, whether good news or bad, you are engaging in gossip. Why not engage in discussions about great ideas, instead? Life is made of only one thing – time. Be careful how you spend it.
7. Elevate others. One of the ways to rise above catty behavior is to hold others in the highest regard. By adopting a mindset of respecting everyone, you are showing respect for yourself as well. Want more for others than you want for yourself. Come from a place of providing service to others. Strange as it may seem, this attitude will bring more benefits to you than you could possibly imagine.
8. Re-language your life. Those who refuse to engage in catty behavior watch the thoughts they think and the words they utter. Studies have shown that negative words actually emanate a lower energy than positive words. Nasty, negative, or mean-spirited words or thoughts have no place in the heads and hearts of the highly evolved. Engage in cooperative, kind, friendly interactions that build up others and benefit all. Watch the thoughts you think and the words you utter. These things speak volumes about who you are and how others perceive you.
9. Stop competing. Catty behavior often comes shining through when one adopts a mindset of competition. Competitive people think there must always be a winner and a loser. Even a simple conversation can be converted into a competition about who knows more or who is better. Competition, nowadays, is often seen as childish and immature. Highly evolved people choose to come from a place of cooperation. They are confident in their beliefs, yet can understand and empathize with others who might disagree.
10. Own your own stuff. Catty people do not take responsibility for their life outcomes. Much of their unfortunate behavior towards others is the manifestation of anger, internal resentment and low self-esteem. The ill will they feel inside is often unleashed upon unknowing others in the form of negative comments, cynicism, and rudeness. People who rise above catty behavior own their own stuff. They take personal responsibility for their actions and understand that everyone (including themselves) is impacted by what they think, say, and do.
© Copyright 2004 by Alicia Smith
About the Author
Alicia Smith is a Coach and Trainer whose specialty is helping coaches to Make Money Now. This article is derived from just one of the 90 lessons contained in her e-course, 90-Day Marketing Marathon. To learn more about that course and her other products and services, please visit the following sites. (You also can email her at firstname.lastname@example.org.) (http://www.90DayMarketingMarathon.com) (http://www.discninja.com) (http://www.InternetAssessments.com)