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'Joke' Mail

By Joe Bingham
Posted Wednesday, November 24, 2004

I love email. I love to hear from friends, and I love to get new subscribers. Paypal is one of my favorite places to hear from as well. It's always nice to make some money for what I am doing.

I also love to read the ezines to which I have subscribed. I often learn a lot from them, and get many article ideas just by bouncing off of what others have said.

However, there's that certain once in a while when all of a sudden...


I subscribe to something like 12-15 ezines. Honestly speaking, that's not very many either. These are all ones that I usually read. Plus there are two others that won't go away. I've actually gone through the unsubscribe process 3-4 times and yet they still come.

I'm also subscribed to a publisher's discussion list, about 8 article announcement lists, and am on about 15 other company mailing lists.

Then there's other publisher's I converse with regularly. Plus, I have to answer questions concerning my services, feedback from readers, process free ads from new subscribers, and I occasionally get letter from Mom and Dad.

So, let me tell you, there's times it can really pile up. Especially if I do something drastic like take a day off.

I'm not complaining, mind you, I do love my business and hearing from everyone involved. The only reason I'm bringing this up is to ask a simple question.

Besides all of these regular emails I get, I receive a few others as well. Many people call them 'spam' emails. I've come to think of them in a different term, however. I call them Jokes.

Look people, I get on average 60 emails a day. Most, say 45-50 of these are legitimate things such as that named above that I want to look at and respond to in many cases.

So, those of you out there that send me these 'joke' emails, I ask you...

Do you really think after dealing with all that other stuff that I'm even going to consider looking at an email coming from someone I don't know with the subject line of "Help! I'm Making Too Much Money!" or "Your $10,000 Commission is Here!"?

I'm not one to make a big deal about receiving unsolicited email. I do, however, have a personal vendetta against blatant stupidity!

I got one recently that said, "For Women Only". If it's for women only, well, then, why did you send it to me?

Then there was, "Are You Lonely Tonight?" Huh! I'm married with four kids, what do you think?

Oh, and I love these, "You've Just Earned a Commission!" Really? So, I've never even heard of you Mister, what was it, pc49837? And you're going to send me money? Wow!

The best, of course, are the ones supposedly from some 'official' in one Asian country or another that is planning to escape to the United States only he needs help transferring his $476 million 'escape' funds. All he needs is my bank account information and I can keep 40% of the $476 million.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! I love it! This is better entertainment than even I can write !

Oh, and how about the ones that just say 'from Bobby' or some other name. Then inside it has links for 12 different things. No explanation, just links. Hey Bobby, just curious, you making any money?

Another funny thing is when the email contains the addresses of the other 20000 people that got the mailing, and the opening line of the text says something like, "Exclusive Opportunity!"

Really? Apparently you've taken it upon yourself to redefine the term 'exclusive'.

I don't know. I just don't know. If you've got to send email to people about your opportunities, fine do it. Send me something relevant to what I'm doing and I might just read it, even if it is unsolicited.

However, I'm a busy man. I get a lot of relevant email as it is. It can be too much sometimes even. All I'm saying here is that non- targeted advertising is a complete waste of time and money.

I'm a 31 year old, American male who likes the outdoors, the Internet, has four kids, and a wife. If you send me email about erectile dysfunction, British opera, gay rights parades, or sushi houses, you're NOT going to get a response!

I believe that's fair, don't you?

About the Author
Joe Bingham, Editor of the NetPlay Newsletters Subscribe to One 3 Quality NetPlay Ezines, See which one fits you at: (


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