Who Are You Mixing It With?

By Julie Plenty
Posted Wednesday, November 10, 2004

I talk and write a lot about Life Design – creating and sculpting a life that is fulfilling for you. It is about shaping your personal landscape and environment.

Part of that environment involves being conscious of who you mix with and their effect on you. Beware of mixing with people who are consistently negative and critical, not only of themselves, but of others and their ideas.

It’s okay to vent and get things off your chest occasionally, but the Value Vampires have turned this into a fine art! They planted seeds of doubt in your mind and then you started to water them! Don’t tell them your hopes, aims, ambitions or goals too early, before they’ve had time to develop; they could kill it in infancy!

The Value Vampires are constantly whining and holding pity parties with anyone who is not aware enough to decline the invitation! They put you and your ideas down and typically ask questions like: “why do you want to do that for?” (which is really a negative judgement in disguise). Understand that when they do they often have a hidden, often unconscious agenda or a low opinion of themselves and their abilities.

Value Vampires drain you – a night out with them leaves you with a nasty taste in your mouth and normally feeling much worse about things. As you begin to make changes in your life, then you’ll probably find yourself attracted to different kinds of people and will not want to conduct your relationships, friendships with them anymore – and they’ll either change or leave your life.

How can you start to change this?

(i) Focus on building a positive support network – rather than seeking to avoid the Value Vampires. You’ll start from a more productive mindset and begin to think about who you want to be with and why.

(ii) You are what you attract. If you’re constantly surrounded by and mixing with those who have a consistently negative approach to life, then it’s very easy to discover who the biggest Value Vampire is – look in the mirror!

Develop a more positive and proactive approach within yourself and you’ll find that you are cultivating more positive and attractive relationships.

About the Author
Julie Plenty is a Personal and Business Coach who specialises in coaching self employed creative professionals to live more creative, fulfilled lives. To sign up for the Life Design newsletter visit: (http://www.self-help-personal-development.com)